Jingle ARRGH the Way! A “How I Became a Pirate” Christmas Adventure

The How I Became a Pirate crew is back! A mysterious message left in the crow’s nest of the ship – “If it’s a treasure you will know, seek the land of Christmas snow” – brings Captain Braid Beard and the gang back to North Beach to seek out young Jeremy Jacob to help solve the riddle and find the Christmas treasure. Each Pirate greets Jeremy with the secret Pirate spit handshake, sharing their adventures since last they met. Though eager to sail the seven seas once again, Jeremy Jacob reminds the Captain that he must be back in time to perform in his school’s Christmas play. Rigging the ship with a Pirate jig and a Yo Ho Ho, they set the compass for their voyage to the North Pole. Everyone on board has a rollicking good time as Jeremy Jacob teaches the crew how to play basketball; Pierre – the French pirate cook – shares the secret recipe for “zee perfect Christmas cookie;” they play pirate board games; and dodge icebergs as they “shiver their timbers” for a true holiday on ice! After a madcap encounter with what they think is a polar bear, Jeremy Jacob and the crew are welcomed by Santa himself, who helps them to discover that the “real Christmas treasure” isn’t a chest of gold doubloons, but, in fact, is the spirit of giving. Santa reminds the Pirates that Jeremy Jacob’s school Christmas play is in danger of cancellation since several actors are sick and can’t be in the show.  He suggests to the Pirates to “give” of their talents and fill in for those roles.  When Captain Braid Beard sternly declares “Pirates don’t act!” Sharktooth, the most fearsome of the pirates – admits he has been performing in the “Nutcracker” matinee at Bora Bora – and gives an inspired sampling of his acting and dancing skills. Enthusiastically, the pirates agree the show must go on, and helped by Santa’s magic, are whisked back in record time for the swashbuckling school performance with a surprise appearance by you-know-who!

The music, the magic, and this delightful tale, brought to the stage by Janet Yates Vogt and Mark Friedman, and based on a story by Melinda Long, author of How I Became a Pirate, make Jingle ARRGH the Way a wonderful holiday show for the whole family.

4 male, 3 gender flexible featured roles

Possible expansion

JEREMY JACOB  – a boy of about 10 or thereabouts

BRAID BEARD  – The Pirate Captain – a man of girth with a “braided beard” on his chin

SWILL THE PIRATE  – A likeable person of slight build – philosophical and intellectual – who gets blamed for everything that goes wrong

SHARKTOOTH THE PIRATE  – A foreboding pirate – scowling grin – wears a patch on eye – but yet – he’s a “sensitive guy”

PIRATE PIERRE  – the ship’s cook – talks with a French accent – enjoys fine French cuisine

MAX THE PIRATE  – he wears a stuffed Parrot on his shoulder – “he’s only a stuffed, plush Parrot but we don’t have the heart to tell ‘im ‘ees not real”

SANTA – lives at the North Pole – in charge of presents, reindeer, and elves – but you know all that

AUTHORS’ NOTES: The OFFSTAGE VOICES of Jeremy’s MOM and DAD and the ANNOUNCER may be performed by the Pirates, by stage crew, or be pre-recorded. If desired, MOM and DAD could appear onstage in the first scene and final scene. To expand the cast size — additional Pirates (male or female) can be added depending upon budget and production needs. The Director may choose to assign character names to these additional Pirates – and have them greeted by Jeremy along with the other PIRATES or the Director may simply add PIRATES to the show without assigning names. Director may choose to cast male or female PIRATES if appropriate to the character – with the exception of BRAID BEARD, JEREMY JACOB, and SHARKTOOTH – who should be male.

Accompaniment CD

Piano-Vocal Score