
It’s the brassy, bright, and promising year of 1959. Boston’s Colonial Theatre is host to the opening night performance of a new musical. When the leading lady mysteriously dies on stage the entire cast & crew are suspects. Enter a local detective, who just happens to be a musical theatre fan!
Act I: It's the brassy, bright and promising year of 1959. Boston's Colonial Theatre is host to the opening night performance of Robbin' Hood!, "a new musical of the Old West". The curtains rise on the show's merciful finale. Act Two. Scene 23.
As the valiant cast proclaims their undying affection for the Wide Open Spaces of Kansas, a sour note is sounded by the voice of faded film star Jessica Cranshaw, who can't act, can't sing, and can't dance — not even a little. Jessica's name may be above the title, but her performance has been beneath contempt, both on-stage and off. She takes her mandatory bow in front of the cowboy-costumed company, gathers up her obligatory bouquets from a pair of tuxedoed ushers, and collapses in a heap, easily the most graceful move she's made all evening. The cast rushes to their fallen star behind the fallen curtain and bear the unbearable Jessica off to Boston Hospital.
A few hours later, on the now darkened Colonial stage, four tormented souls in evening dress search the night owl editions of the Boston morning papers for a single charitable review. The show's composer, Aaron Fox and lyricist Georgia Hendricks — recently divorced but professionally reunited in an attempt to create musical magic where their marriage has otherwise gone flat — find nary a quote to pull. Equally empty-handed is the show's lone financial backer Oscar Shapiro, garment district maven but theatre district novitiate. Slightly less daunted is Carmen Bernstein, co-producer (with her husband Sidney) of Robbin' Hood! The four speculate about "What Kind of Man", woman, or beast would ever choose to be a critic.
They are joined by feverishly fey director, Christopher Belling, who announces he's just given birth to a brainchild the producers must instantly adopt. To demonstrate his plan, he asks Georgia to sing Jessica Cranshaw's first ballad in the show. It's no secret to the company that Georgia has recently rekindled a past romance with leading man Bobby Pepper. Though her ex-husband may be accompanying her at the piano, Georgia is clearly thinking of Bobby as she sings "Thinking of Him".
Director Belling reveals his masterful plan: as long as Jessica Cranshaw is indisposed, her part should be filled by Georgia, a former stage performer who obviously knows the show inside and out because she is its co-creator. All approve, except ex-husband Aaron, who points out that the issue is academic if Jessica Cranshaw returns to work. But the fateful news arrives: "The Woman's Dead". An impromptu funeral ceremony in Jessica's honor is interrupted by the arrival of Homicide Lieutenant Frank Cioffi, who saw Robbin' Hood! in previews and thinks that, with the exception of the late Miss Cranshaw, the cast are all spectacular performers in one heck of a show. The Lieutenant has done some amateur theatrical work himself, and he is as shocked as Carmen Bernstein to learn that the cast does not feel the show must go on. He and Carmen must remind the company that they are part of a special breed known as "Show People".
With their faith in themselves and Robbin' Hood! renewed, the cast prepares to leave for the night when Cioffi explains that they can't. Since an autopsy has revealed that Jessica Cranshaw swallowed poison pellets in the last minutes of the show, during which time she never left the stage, it's clear she was murdered by a member of the company. Cioffi feels the surest way to solve the crime will be to keep the entire cast of suspicious characters sequestered in the theatre.
Sidney Bernstein, the show's senior producing partner (and Carmen's philandering lesser half) arrives from New York — or at least that's where he claims to have been at the time of the murder.
Cioffi is left alone with local neophyte actress Niki Harris, who understudied Jessica Cranshaw but is now covering for Georgia. The police detective is clearly smitten with Niki's winsome charm and confides in her about his investigation. They learn that they are both married … to their respective careers, which in Cioffi's case has resulted in a life of lunch counter mornings and "Coffee Shop Nights".
The next day, as Georgia struggles to regain her show biz sea legs, Carmen and Sidney Bernstein invite Boston Globe senior drama critic Daryl Grady to pay them a visit, much to his bewilderment, since his review of the show found precious little to praise. The producers ask Grady to re-review their musical with its new lead, but the best he can offer is to appraise the next evening's re-opening. With Grady's challenge accepted, Chris Belling prepares to restage a particularly troublesome number, entitled "In the Same Boat". Cioffi is startled to hear himself suggest that the problem might lie in the song itself, and the director is surprised to hear himself agree. Composer Aaron Fox is urged to concoct a different number for the same slot in the show, minus the assistance of his ex-wife who, owing to her frantic rehearsal schedule, has now become his ex-writing partner as well. In private with Lieutenant Cioffi, the composer makes a most unexpected confession. ("I Miss the Music")
Any doubt that Georgia could hold the stage is happily dispelled by the dress rehearsal of the big saloon hall number "Thataway!" But as the Act One curtain descends, murder rises to the occasion, and a key member of the company is forced to face The Big Blackout.
Act II: The second act begins with the updated medical status of the most recent victim: "The Man is Dead". Curtains rise upon a makeshift dormitory on the Colonial's stage, as things go bump in the night and the company, in varying stages of dress and undress, point fingers of suspicion at each other, puzzling over whether She or "He Did It".
Cioffi arrives with a grim report from the coroner and even graver concerns about the show's rapidly-approaching deadline. Aaron previews his best effort at "In the Same Boat #2" but the zealous Cioffi sends it back to the drawing board once again, while urging that star Bobby Pepper be added to the Fort Henderson square dance. This prompts Bambi, an aspiring chorine and also Carmen's daughter, to plead for a pas de deux ("for two") for herself and Bobby, as a spotlight moment in the number. Carmen reluctantly gives Bambi her chance, although she reminds her that a hard-nosed producer watches the box office, not the stage, and in commercial theatre, the bottom line is: "It's a Business".
Much to Carmen's surprise, Bambi shines in the rehearsal of the restaged Kansasland. But even as Bambi gets her big shot, Bobby Pepper gets his, from a gun offstage. Or was someone else the target? Cioffi's craft as a detective takes center stage as he traces the bullet's torturous path. He is also able to solve the mystery of why Aaron Fox and Georgia Hendricks were so anxious to work on Robbin' Hood! as the former husband and wife team discover ample reason to renew their vows. ("Thinking of Him/I Miss the Music Reprise").
With the spotlight suddenly on romance, Cioffi's magnifying glass focuses on the ingénue who's too-good-to-be-true. In his wildest dreams, instead of tracking footprints, he'd be trading steps with Niki up a theatrical stairway, making moves that even Fred and Ginger would find "A Tough Act to Follow".
But in the realm of homicide, the blink of an eye can turn daydream into nightmare, as Cioffi realizes that Niki is carrying a secret, one she has shared with stage manager Johnny Harmon. Johnny's lips remain sealed — and the killer hopes to keep them that way forever. Cioffi's investigation takes him high above the stage and, hearing the chorus below as they rehearse "In the Same Boat #3", he hits upon a solution to some (if not all) the production's problems, in a melodic amalgam that finally sees "In the Same Boat Completed".
With that immense puzzle solved to the company's satisfaction, Cioffi has merely to piece together the clues he's gathered, correctly unmask the killer, save the life of the murderer's next intended victim, render the fiend harmless, make sense of a troubling but telltale observation, and find a new finale for the show. In doing so, Carmen Bernstein gives Cioffi the highest praise he could ever hope to receive: he is truly one of those "Show People" who understands why the show must go on. The revamped "Wide Open Spaces Finale" may be "A Tough Act to Follow (reprise)", but for Lieutenant Frank Cioffi, the curtain is just about to rise on the greatest joy of his life.
Book by RUPERT HOLMES
Music by JOHN KANDER
Lyrics by FRED EBB
Original Book and Concept by PETER STONE
Additional Lyrics by JOHN KANDER and RUPERT HOLMES
NOTE: The names of the Composer, Lyricist, and Bookwriter shall be equal in size, type, coloring, boldness, and prominence. No billing shall appear in type larger or more prominent than the billing to the Authors except for the title of the play.
LIEUTENANT FRANK CIOFFI (30’s - 40’s): Sweetly endearing local Boston detective who idolizes the world of musical theatre and has reveled in the thrill of performing in community theatre. Called upon to solve the murder of the star of “Robbin’ Hood” (a musical intended for Broadway that is currently out of town in Boston), Cioffi is very good at his job and, lamentably, married to his work. He is instantly smitten with ingénue Niki Harris. The undisputed central character of the musical. Requires deft and charming comedy, good singing, solid dancing in one extended “Fred and Ginger” number.
NIKI HARRIS (20's-early 30's) Pretty, almost too innocent ingénue, a local performer in a small role hoping “Robbin’ Hood” will be the Boston production that at last takes her to Broadway. Love interest for Lieutenant Cioffi, apparently reciprocated. Requires a legit soprano and strong dancing in an extended “Fred and Ginger” number.
GEORGIA HENDRICKS (30’s – mid-40’s, similar age to AARON) Female half of our show-within-a-show’s songwriting team on the lyric-writing side. Ends up taking on the leading lady role. Must sing and dance extremely well.
CARMEN BERNSTEIN (45-65) Brash and brassy Broadway producer. Terrific comedic actress with a belt.
AARON FOX (30’s - 40's, similar age to GEORGIA) The composer of the show-within-the-show. His songwriting partner, Georgia, is also his wife, from whom he's separated but for whom he still pines. He's a handsome, intense, somewhat tortured artist-type. Requires a strong vocalist with comedy.
SIDNEY BERNSTEIN (Late 50’s-Mid 60’s): The always-angry, sleazy, philandering producer of the out-of-town flop. Sidney is rough around the edges and completely self-serving. Requires a cartoon-like character actor who is funny on arrival. No singing required.
CHRISTOPHER BELLING (40-60) English director. Very camp. Very droll. Noel Coward meets Addison DeWitt meets Clifton Webb. Requires a superb comic actor.
BAMBI “BERNÉT” (Early 20's-early 30's) Performer in the chorus, daughter of Carmen, step-daughter of Sidney. Genuinely brassy and artificially blonde. Hungry to work her way out of the chorus; many think she was only hired because of her mother. She surprises everyone, however, when she shows genuine dancing and singing talent when at last called upon. Requires great dancing, strong “street-smart dumb blonde” comedy, and singing.
OSCAR SHAPIRO (45-65): from the garment district and sole investor in “Robbin’ Hood.” A likeably gruff man who knows nothing about theatre and frets over every dime of his that’s spent. Requires good “rough around the edges” comedy and singing.
BOBBY PEPPER (30’s to early 40’s, similar age as Georgia and Aaron) The Gene Kelly of “Robbin’ Hood,” its choreographer and male star, and a handsome rival to Aaron for Georgia’s affection. Requires strong dancing, singing, comedy.
DARYL GRADY (30’s-40’s): Caustic and smug theatre critic for the local Boston newspaper. Patronizingly pompous, enjoys using his power to make or break shows during their Boston tryouts. Does not require strong singing or dancing.
JOHNNY HARMON * (30's-60's) Stage Manager of the show-within-the-show, and both drill sergeant and mother hen to the cast. Barks orders but has a pleasant side as well, he keeps the company in line and on their toes throughout the rehearsal process. Comic actor who can sing.
JESSICA CRANSHAW (40’s-60’s) Faded Hollywood star, a grand diva with no right to be one, and a plague to the show-with-the-show and to her cast. An absolutely dreadful singer and inept actress who stars in the show-within-a-show and gets murdered on its opening night in Boston. Must be skillful enough to sing hilariously out-of-tune and ineptly, and adroit enough to dance perfectly out of step with the rest of the cast. Appears only in the first minutes of the musical; on Broadway, this performer then adopted a different look and became part of the ensemble.
RANDY DEXTER (20’s – 30’s) a member of the singing & dancing ensemble featured in “Kansasland,” pleasant but with a sensitive side.
HARV FREMONT (20’s – 30’s) a member of the singing & dancing ensemble who bears a bouquet.
ROBERTA WOOSTER (20’s – 30’s) a member of the singing & dancing ensemble who speaks from experience.
ENSEMBLE
*Note: the role of JOHNNY HARMON can be played by a woman using the name JENNY HARMON, with all the same character traits as described.
It is not recommended that any other roles described above be played by the opposite gender, as it would be contrary to the dynamics of the mystery, the comedy, and the period.
(15 musicians)
Piano Conductor Score (Rehearsal ONLY)
Woodwind 1 (Flute, Piccolo, Alto Saxophone, Clarinet)
Woodwind 2 (Oboe, English Horn, Tenor Saxophone, Clarinet)
Woodwind 3 - (Clarinet, Soprano Saxophone, Alto Saxophone)
Woodwind 4 - (Flute, Baritone Saxophone, Bassoon, Clarinet)
Horn 1
Horn 2
Trumpet 1 (Trumpet, Flugelhorn)
Trumpet 2 (Trumpet, Flugelhorn)
Trombone 1
Trombone 2 (Trombone, Tuba)
Guitar (Electric, Banjo, Rhythm Steel, Arch Top, Nylon Acoustic, Steel Acoustic)
Keyboard
Bass (Acoustic)
Drums
Percussion:
Two
Contact: Hall Associates Flying Effects
815-758-0462
showquote@flyingfx.com
www.flyingfx.com
CURTAINS PROPS LIST
Feather Boa (p 2)
2 Bouquets of flowers (p 4)
4 Newspapers (p 6)
3 letters (“You’re murdering the score but I’ll murder you,” “You’ll drop before the curtain does,” and “If you don’t quit, you’ll die legit.”) (cut with letters/words from a magazine) (p 25)
Briefcase (p 33)
Sheet music (p 42)
*Opulent Western Gambling Saloon—cards, Chips, glasses, beer (p 44)
Rope (p 50)
*Dummy of Bernstein (p 51)
Little Black Book (p 57)
Script of Robbin’ Hood (p 57)
Gunpowder barrels (p 69)
Gun (p 72)
First Aid Kit (p 73)
Water Cooler (p 73)
Standing mike (p 84)
Fabric on poles (p 84)
Large Tabby cat (p 86)
Call book (p 86)
Sand bag (p 89)
Music for “In the Same Boat” (p 91)
PA Mike (p 97)
Knife (p 101)
Cioffi’s gun (p 102)
Cioffi’s other gun (p 103)
*Optional
If you would like to add to this list, e-mail licensing@theatricalrights.com
Show|Ready™ and Stage|Tracks™ provided by ROCS (Right on Cue Services) are now available for CURTAINS.
With Show|Ready™, you can virtually send your Musical Director home with each and every member of your cast! Show|Ready allows you to play a customizable rehearsal track of your show, complete with individual vocal parts and all dance breaks on a Mac, PC, and soon on your iOS device. Your Musical Director simply uploads any edits made at that day’s rehearsal and your cast can access and download the newest version with all of the new changes. This enables your entire cast to rehearse correctly from the beginning, saving you valuable time and effort.
With an intuitive interface, Show|Ready gives you complete control over which parts you hear, and lets you modify the key or tempo and cut, vamp, or repeat measures as you please. All shows include the piano, bass, drum, all vocal parts, and click track as well as a sheet music viewer that automatically displays the piano/conductor score and changes the page as you listen and navigate throughout the show.
Stage|Tracks™ provides quality performance tracks, edited to integrate your individual changes from Show|Ready. With the best sounding tracks at an affordable price, Stage|Tracks will greatly enhance your production if you do not have live musicians to accompany the show. However, you should be advised that while Stage|Tracks provides quality performance tracks of the full orchestration, it is not recommended to be used alongside live musicians. Stage|Tracks is only for performance and is sent approximately 3-4 weeks prior to the opening date of your production. Stage|Tracks is currently only available on an iOS device, with Mac and PC coming soon.
For pricing information and to order Show|Ready™ or Stage|Tracks™ please call: 646-736-3232 or email: licensing@theatricalrights.com
January 1 - December 30, 2013
The Production Company
Melbourne, VIC, AU
March 15 - 16, 2013
Jordan-Elbridge High School
Jordan, NY 13080
March 15 - 16, 2013
Burnt Hills-Ballston Lake High School
Burnt Hills, NY 12027
March 15 - 16, 2013
North Rose Wolcott High School
Wolcott, NY 14590
March 15 - 16, 2013
Orangeville Jr Sr High School
Orangeville, IL 61060
March 15 - 17, 2013
Barker Junior Senior High School
Barker, NY 14012
March 15 - 17, 2013
Earl L. Vandermeulen High School
Port Jefferson, NY 11777
March 15 - 23, 2013
Half Moon Bay HS
Half Moon Bay, CA 94019
March 15 - 23, 2013
Franklin High School
Elk Grove, CA 95758
March 15 - 24, 2013
Pickerington Community Theatre
Pickerington, OH 43147
March 20 - 23, 2013
Girvan Musical Society
Girvan, Glasgow, Scotland
March 20 - 23, 2013
Congress Theatre
Cwmbran, Torfaen
March 21 - 13, 2013
Wayne Hills High School
Wayne, NJ 7470
March 22 - April 20, 2013
Chagrin Valley Little Theatre
Chagrin Falls, OH 44022
March 29 - 30, 2013
University of Massachusetts Theatre Guild
Amherst, MA 1003
April 3 - 6, 2013
Pickens High School Theatre
Jasper, GA 30143
April 4 - 13, 2013
Westminster College
Salt Lake City, UT 84105
April 5 - 7, 2013
Twin Valley High School
Elverson, PA 19520
April 5, 2013 - April 13, 2013
Neshaminy Valley Music Theatre
Newtown, PA 18940
April 12 - 13, 2013
Lafayette College Marquis Players
Easton, PA 18042
April 12 - 14, 2013
Clarkstown High School South Centerstage
West Nyack, NY 10994
April 12 - 21, 2013
Providence College
Providence, RI 02918
April 18 - 20, 2013
Howard W. Blake High School of the Performing Arts
Tampa, FL 33607
April 18 - 21, 2013
Princess Ann HS
Virginia Beach, VA 23462
April 18 - 21, 2013
Central Catholic High School
McKeesport, PA 15135
April 18 - 26, 2013
Tahlequah High School
Tahlequah, OK 74464
April 19 - 21, 2013
Galesburg High School
Galesburg, IL 61401
April 19 - 21, 2013
Titusville High School
Titusville, FL 32780
April 19 - 27, 2013
Horizon Community Learning Center
Phoeniz, AZ 85048
April 19 - 27, 2013
RPI Players
Troy, NY 12180
April 19 - 28, 2013
Possum Point Players
Georgetown, DE 19947
April 25 - 27, 2013
Westlake High School
Waldorf, MD 20603
April 26 - 27, 2013
Liberty County High School
Hinesville, GA 31313
April 26 - May 5, 2013
Holy Cross Catholic Church
Atlanta, GA 30341
April 26 - May 26, 2013
Bloomington Civic Theatre - Theatre and Arts Center
Bloomington, MN 55431
May 2 - 4, 20113
Trinity Lutheran College
Gold Coast, Queensland, AU
May 10 - 12, 2013
Actorsingers
Nashua, NH 3061
June 7 - 9, 2013
The Siena Players
Philadelphia, PA 19114
July 2 - 5, 2013
Tettenhall College
Wolverhampton, West Midlands WV6 8QX, UK
July 5 - 28, 2013
Arvada Center for the Arts and Humanities Theatre
Arvada, CO 80003
July 11 - 13, 2013
McNicholas Alumni Theatre (MAT) Paradise Players
Cincinatti, OH 45230
July 18 - September 15, 2013
Good Company Players
Fresno, CA 93728
July 25 - 28, 2013
Stage-M
Big Rapids, MI 49307
August 8 - 10, 2013
Capitol Theater Arts Academy
Willimantic, CT 6226
August 21 - 25, 2013
The Production Co
Melbourne, Victoria, AU
August 30 - September 1, 2013
CAUSE Foundation
Bangalore, Karnataka 560001 India
September 24 - 28, 2013
Glenrothes Amateur Musical Association
Glenrothes, Fife, Scotland KY7 6GE UK
November 5 - 9, 2013
Lyric Players
Wallington, Sutton SM6 7EN UK
November 5 - 9, 2013
Centre Stage London
London, SE4 1LS UK
November 7 - 24, 2013
The South Simcoe Theatre
Cookstown, ON L0L 1L0 CA
March 14 - 30, 2014
Waukesha Civic Theatre
Waukesha, WI 53186
October 20 - 24, 2015
Epsom Light Opera Company
Epsom, Surrey, UK KT18 5AL